


Pretending

by sparly503



Category: Silent Witness (TV)
Genre: F/M, Friendship/Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-10
Updated: 2012-02-10
Packaged: 2017-10-30 22:08:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/336675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sparly503/pseuds/sparly503
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry grinned and Nikki’s heart fluttered. Every little thing he did, every little thing, had started having an effect on her now. She wasn’t used to it and she certainly wasn’t enjoying it. But for the sake of their friendship, she ignored her feelings, and carried on, pretending. Always pretending.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pretending

**Author's Note:**

> Written two years ago for a friend, so apologies for any mistakes :)Based off the song "I Love You" by Sarah McLachlan.  
> Don't know, don't own, don't sue.  
> Cross posted from ff.net and LJ.

Nikki pressed her phone to her ear and answered the incoming call.

                “Hello, Nikki Alexander speaking.”

                “Hello, Nikki Alexander.”

Nikki smiled.

                “Harry.”

                “That’s me. Where are we meeting? I can’t find this damn coffee shop of yours.”

Nikki glanced out the window of the “damn coffee shop”. It _was_ situated down a hidden pedestrian alley behind the main street. She thought of the high street it came off, where she’d had to wait for ages to cross the road because the traffic lights were broken.

                “Meet me at the lights.”

                “Okay. See you soon, beautiful.” 

Nikki felt a warm happy feeling wash over her when he said that. 

                “See you soon.” She whispered into the broken line.

She picked up her bag, left a tip on the table for Gino and hurried out the door. The wind picked up her hair and the sun sparkled in her eyes. She had a spring in her step as she made her way towards the high street. Turning the corner of the alley and coming onto the street she saw him strolling leisurely down the opposite side of the road. Her smile stretched as she waited and saw him notice her. He gave a jaunty wave and after checking for cars, he walked across the road to her.

**_I have a smile stretched from ear to ear to see you walking down the road_**

                “Hey, Nikki.” Harry said, catching her by the waist and swirling her around.

                “Harry!” Nikki giggled, as she spun dizzily.

                “How are you?” Harry asked, letting her go. 

Nikki felt cold when he released his grip and all she wanted was for him to be touching her again. She looked up into his eyes, wishing there was more than just friendliness in them. He frowned quizzically when she didn’t answer.

                “Nikki?”

Nikki blinked, his voice snapping her out of her reverie.

                “What? Oh, I’m…fine.”

Harry’s frown deepened.

                “Are you sure?”

                “Yes,” Nikki said brightly. _I’ve got to pull myself together,_ she thought _, why is this affecting me now?_

Harry grinned and Nikki’s heart fluttered. Every little thing he did, every little thing, had started having an effect on her now. She wasn’t used to it and she certainly wasn’t enjoying it. But for the sake of their friendship, she ignored her feelings, and carried on, pretending. Always pretending.

                “So,” Harry said, “I thought we could go to that park with the fountain? I remember you saying that you always liked the wishing fountain, wonder what it’s like now….”

Nikki let herself be caught up in the moment, just for once. She let his voice wash over her and she stared up at his face, taking in every detail, memorizing every feature. _**We meet at the lights I stare for a while the world around us disappears**_

                “Nikki?” Harry waved a hand in front of her face, then flicked her nose. She jolted. “I think you’re half asleep today.” He laughed. 

Nikki laughed too but felt a blush creeping up onto her cheeks. _I must stop doing that. I must just stop it._ Harry reached for her arm and took it before half-dragging her along the pavement. 

                “Where are we going?” Nikki asked breathlessly.

                “You _really_ weren’t listening, were you?” Harry rebuked lightly. “We’re going to that park you were telling me about yesterday. The one you haven’t been to in years? It’s really close. Thought we’d check it out.”

Nikki rolled her eyes but inside she felt elated. They made their way, weaving through people pushing each other playfully. Nikki felt light-headed and happy as they joked and laughed together but it didn’t last. Harry twirled her round the corner and through a gate. In front of her was a vast expansive of lush green. On her left was a playground and on her right a botanical garden. Beyond the garden was a crisscross of pathways, trees and a beautiful ornate fountain. She fixed her eyes on it, letting the memories flood back. Harry followed her gaze and pulled her forwards. 

                “Lets go wish.”

                “Okay. If you’d stop pulling me around.” Nikki smiled. _I can’t stop you. What happened to the strong woman who could separate herself from weakness like this? What have you done to her?_

Harry let go but she still stayed close to him as they wandered through the garden, marveling at the flowers and herbs. Or rather, Nikki marveled at the flowers and herbs.

                “Harry, wait. Look at this.” She called after him.

He turned around and pulled a face.

                “Flowers? Not my thing. Neither are parks really. It’s all for you, you know.”

Nikki hoped that was true. She saw him carry on so she left the flowers and followed him. 

                “Come on, slow coach.” Harry yelled, from beside the fountain.

Nikki quickened her pace to a jog and was next to him within a matter of seconds. She looked down into the fountain and it glistened up at her. All sparkling water, rippling waves and bronze metal, gleaming from the bottom of the fountain.

                “Look at all the money wasted.” Harry remarked. 

Nikki whacked him light-heartedly. 

                “Be romantic. All those people, wanting their desires to come true….”

                “Oh, ha, you sound like you have a few desires of your own, Nikki.” Harry joked, putting his arm around her.

                “Shut up you.” She said as she pushed him off. She pushed a little too hard and he lost his balance. She hastily tried to pull him back but it was too late. With a splash, Harry landed in the fountain, and didn’t look too pleased about it either.

Nikki’s hand flew to her mouth but she couldn’t help but giggle. Harry narrowed his eyes and reached up to grab her wrist. Her eyes widened.

“Harry-” But it was too late. A second later she was drenched, with a mouthful of water and a handful of coins from under the surface. She lifted her hand up and threw them at Harry. He ducked and laughed before holding onto her shoulders and pushing her back under water. She kicked him and he let go quickly.

                “Hey!” He gasped. “That hurt.”

Nikki grinned and flicked water at him. He splashed back and soon both of them were in hysterics, leaning against each other for support.

                “We’re just children really.” Harry stated as Nikki leant her head against his shoulder, both of them still half-submerged, half-sitting in the fountain.

**_It`s just you and me on my island of hope a breath between us could be miles Let me surround you my sea to your shore let me be the calm you seek_**

Ten minutes later they were both sitting on the edge of the fountain, trying to dry their clothes without success. Harry glanced at Nikki and she smiled half-heartedly back, then looked away. _That’s the most fun I’ve had in ages,_ she thought. _Now comes the hard part._

                “That old lady looks very disapproving,” Harry grinned, nudging her. Nikki giggled.

                “Well, try the teenagers. By the looks on their faces, we’re way too old to having fun.” She replied, trying to focus on anything but him.

Harry sighed and took her hand to pull her round so she would face him.

                “What’s wrong, Nikki? You haven’t been alright for a while. Please, I really want to help.” He asked hopelessly.

Nikki winced. This was exactly what she had been trying to avoid. This painful conversation. What could she say? _What’s_ wrong _is that I can’t stop thinking about you. What’s wrong is that every time you say my name, I’m reminded that you’ll never say it the way I want. That you’ll never feel the same. That’s what’s wrong._

“Nothing’s wrong.” She replied shortly. “So, where do we go from here?”

                “Don’t try and change the topic. I know something’s wrong. I hate it Nikki. Just please. Tell me.”

_I wish you’d let it go. There’s so much I want to say. Go on, Nikki. Just_ say _it._

                “I….well, you see…” Nikki started, stuttering.

                “What?”

_Oh, it’s no use. I can’t do it._

                “Never mind. It’s not like you’d understand.” Nikki muttered.

                “What’s that supposed to mean?” Harry said, defensive.

                “Nothing.”

                “No, go on. Explain to me why I couldn’t _possibly_ understand why you’ve been acting so distant and strange. How we have a good day, yet you’re still unhappy. Please, enlighten me.” Harry shot his words at her.

                “It’s all your fault. I can’t be sane around you! Why are you doing this to me?” Nikki burst out.

Harry flinched, then a frown settled on his face.

                “If I’m so hard to be around, I’ll just leave.” He said bitterly.

                “Yes, do that.” Nikki snapped.

Harry stood up quickly and glared down at her. He gave her one last look before turning on his heels and storming away, through the gardens and out the park. Nikki buried her face in her hands and began to cry softly, tears snaking down her cheeks.

_**Oh but every time I'm close to you there's too much I can't say and you just walk away** _

That night Nikki couldn’t sleep. She replayed the scene over and over in her head, imagining all the different endings to the same story. Out of all of them, reality was the worst. She tossed and turned but in the end she couldn’t stand it. She got out of bed and slipped on her silk dressing gown before making her way to her living room. Her cell phone lay on the table and she picked it up. As she did so, it lit up with a message.

(1)New Message Received

Nikki opened it wearily.

_I’m sorry. I really am. I miss you already._

_H._

Nikki was instantly more awake. She tapped a message back.

_I’m sorry too. There’s so much I didn’t say._

_N._

She sat down at the table and drummed her fingers against the wood impatiently. Soon her phone lit up again.

_You’re home aren’t you?_

_H._

_Yes. Why?_

_N._

_Wait there._

_H._

Nikki frowned, confused. She assumed they had made up, why did he want her to stay there? She got up and moved to the sofa, falling onto it with a sigh. _Why does life have to be so damn complicated?_ She thought. She must have dozed off because a couple of minutes later she found herself being woken up by a rapping on her door. She got up and stumbled towards it, unlocking it and pulling it open. And there was Harry. To her, the vision of an angel.

He gazed at her and the whole day disappeared before her eyes. The argument, the fighting, the anger and sadness. All gone. He rustled his coat as he brought his arm round from behind his back where he had been holding flowers. Nikki’s eyes widened.

                “For you,” He said shyly. 

Nikki took them in disbelief. The smell was familiar.

                “Wait,” She murmured, inhaling the scent deeply. “Aren’t these the flowers from the park?”

                “That they are.” Harry grinned. “I pay more attention than you think, Nikki.”

His expression grew serious and he stepped forward slowly. Nikki mirrored his action, so they were both close enough to touch without moving.  She dropped the flowers and he lifted his hand up to stroke her cheek gently. Her breathing hitched and a shiver ran through her body. Harry leant forwards and whispered in her ear.

                “Today, I forgot to tell you something.”

**_And I forgot to tell you I love you and the night's too long and cold here without you I grieve in my condition for I cannot find the words to say I need you so_ **

                “What?”She whispered back, staring up at him.

                “You’ll find out.”

                “You always were a tease.”

He laughed, and she laughed with him. Their closeness was making her feel dizzy and light-headed but she didn’t want to pull away.

                “Nikki…”

                “Harry…”

And then he kissed her. His mouth on hers. The kiss was soft to begin with but slowly became more passionate. Her emotions, hidden for so long, were released, in a burst of excitement and love and ecstasy. His lips were warm and soft and Nikki felt like she could stay in his hold forever. When they paused, breathing heavily, foreheads resting on each other, she felt the happiest she had ever been. Harry smiled at her, his eyes locked on hers.

                “Come in.” She said simply. Intelligent speech had been taken away from her.

                “I knew I’d get an invitation inside.”

Nikki pulled a face, laughing. _Always the joker._

Harry went in and quickly found the sofa, swinging himself down on to it. 

                “Glad to see you making yourself at home.” Nikki said.

He smiled and looked up at her, standing there, with her arms wrapped around her, as if she was trying to shield herself from something. _Maybe I am,_ she thought, _maybe I’m scared of what’s going on in his head right now?_  Nikki saw him beckon to her.

                “Come sit. Please Nikki.”

She could never resist what he wanted. She sat down next to him, but turned her face away. He took her hand, like he had earlier at the park, and brushed his fingers over her palm. 

                “Nikki,” He started, “I’ve always wanted you.”

She whipped her head around to look at him incredulously. That was something she had _not_ been expecting.

                “Wh-what?”

                “I’ve always wanted you.”

                “But…?” Nikki didn’t believe him.

He shrugged.

                “Maybe I’m just better at hiding it than you.”

                “Hey, I didn’t _always_ feel this way.” 

He blinked in mock hurt. _This is the strangest day,_ Nikki thought, _we go from serious, to joking to serious. I just don’t understand. And I_ hate _not understanding._

“That would hurt my feelings if I didn’t like you so much.” Harry declared, pretending to be hurt but his eyes still showing he was kidding.

                “Oh, haha.”

                “I know, I know, I’m very funny.”

                “Oh shush,” Nikki said exasperatedly, “But what are we going to do? I mean, we’ve been friends for so long and I wouldn’t want to jeopardise that and-”

She was cut off by him, putting a finger to her lips. He leaned forwards again, still holding onto her hand and kissed her again. In that kiss was paradise. Beauty, love and paradise. Everything wonderful. Nikki melted into his kiss, letting herself be enveloped in his arms.

**_Oh but every time I'm close to you there's too much I can't say But now you’re here to stay._**

She smiled into his embrace. _This is what I want._ She could feel him smiling too. She pushed him gently away then stood up, pulling him up with her. Harry raised his eyebrows.

                “Wow, do you always move this quickly?”

                “Depends on who I’m with.”

He laughed and grabbed her waist, bringing her in close to him. His breath tickled her ear, sending more shivers down her spine. 

                “I love you, Nikki Alexander.”

She reached up to bring his face down so she could breathe her reply in his ear.

                “I love you too, Harry Cunningham.”

_**And I forgot to tell you I love you and the night's so much better with here with you I celebrate our love for I found the words to say I need you so.**_

  



End file.
